The Supportive Element
The Supportive Element is about expressing our belief in ourselves or another, especially when positivity and hope are hard to find.
The goal of the Supportive Element is to uplift, encourage and inspire ourselves and others to see and reach our true potential.
To practice this Element we can look for opportunities to uplift, inspire and encourage others and practical ways to help ourselves and others flourish.
Want to apply this Element in your life?
Download our free workbook and start practicing the Supportive Element today or click on the headings below to discover more.
“Your small support could accomplish a big dream.”
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My son, who has autism, was fascinated by birds when he was younger. I facilitated him broadening his knowledge of birds by reading him books and watching documentaries together. When his friends grew out of being interested in and playing games about nature, I supported him to still have common ground socially by supplying him with movies and music that his friends would likely be watching and listening to.
Looking at my houseplants, I can see that in order to grow, some of them need support, and support that is specific to their particular needs, shapes, size and growth patterns. .
Whenever I uplifted, encouraged, or praised my son, I could see his little face and heart light up. It made his day. I recognised that he had a far greater appetite for receiving praise than I felt I had within me.
“To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it.” - Mother Teresa
In 2019 he was diagnosed with Autism & ADHD. Before the diagnosis, I realised to support his needs I had to step up. I had to take my parenting skills and invent the next level.
In my mind, I decided to become a cheerleader, like you see in American Football games. I decided to be the marching band, singing pom-pom dancers and the mascot. The whole works, phew!
Those cheerleaders didn’t get that good overnight. They practised a heck of a lot. I felt weak just thinking of how I was going to do all this. I became aware that I was making a big mistake. I was making the journey mine alone.
I called upon my Higher Power and humbly asked for guidance and strength. Thank goodness for the power of love.
Initially it felt unnatural, consciously supporting someone so much. I chose to place myself out of sight. It didn’t matter what I thought, that’s what my son needed of me.
“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” - Paulo Coelho
I started practicing the Supportive Element in earnest. This was like building muscle. I became stronger and my ability to be more supportive increased.
When you genuinely support someone, love flows through you to that person and then back again to you. That's the power of Real Love.
I can say hand on heart that becoming so supportive was truly transformative. The more I invested in supporting my son, the more he flourished. It was like taking pennies to the bank and receiving hundred-dollar bills in return.
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When we receive emotional and social support we are much more resilient to hard times.
Practicing the Supportive Element on ourselves and others can give us:
Lower levels of anxiety and depression
Less stress
Protection against Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Lowered risk for cardiovascular disease
Effective immune system functioning
Faster recovery from surgery
Fewer complications during pregnancy and childbirth
Lower mortality social support predict an average of almost 3 years for women and 2.3 years for men increased longevity
Healthy development in children
Help us cope with setbacks, solve problems and improve self-esteem.
Similar benefits can also apply to the person giving the support, as long as they are not over-giving. It is our level of connectedness which provides the benefits.
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Practicing the Supportive Element:
Builds stronger communities.
Increases levels of trust
Makes us better parents
Makes for more effective and healthy workplaces
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Different people may respond to different types of support. Here are some ways you might like to experiment with the Supportive Element:
Verbal - Saying, ‘I know this is really hard but I genuinely believe you can do this.’ to someone who is struggling to believe in themselves. Or providing advice or a new perspective (when the person asks for it) if you are an expert or have experience of dealing with a similar situation.
Tactile - Find a soft, comfortable place where you feel safe, perhaps outdoors, and allow each part of your body to soften into the ground beneath you. Allow yourself to sink down and be fully supported by the Earth. Take off your shoes and talk a slow walk, feeling the support of the Earth.
Doing - Driving someone to an appointment, buying them materials to support building a skill or project.
Being - Holding an unswerving belief of someone’s potential in our heart as we listen fully to their story of struggle.
Self-support - Asking for the specific types of support you need or joining a support group. Noticing critical self-talk and swapping it for encouraging and inspiring self-talk.
Spiritual support - e.g. asking for what you need in prayer, visualising yourself supported by a giant hand.
When we practice the Supportive Element with ourselves, different people in our lives may be more or less able to provide us with different kinds of support. This is why having a broad and diverse network is important.
We also need to remember that when we’re practicing the Supportive Element with others we may be well placed to provide one particular kind of support over another. We do not need to do it all or be it all for everyone.
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We all have a still, small voice or sense inside our head or heart that is always trying to guide us. Some of us are too preoccupied to notice it. If we have experience of hearing and acting on this voice, we may know it as our intuition, our inner teacher (hence, the word in-tuition).
One way of practicing the Supportive Element on ourselves is by taking time to tune into our intuition, actually listening to it and honouring it.
“Maturation is the development from environmental support to self-support.” - Bruce Lee
Taking time to clear our minds of chatter, tune into our bodies and hearts and listen to our inner teacher may provide us with a deeper or wider perspective, the ability to slow down and ponder an issue, time to think and contemplate on a different level and/or access to a different way of knowing.
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein
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On this day I support and nourish myself with positive loving thoughts.
On this day I am available to support others.
On this day I have a kind word to say to others.
On this day I know how to support myself and others.
On this day I am Divinely guided and supported.
On this day I make time to support family and friends
On this day I am supported by my Higher Power, Divinity, God etc.
On this day, it take time to tune into my intuition and heed the call of my inner guide.
On this day, I support someone with practical help.
On this day I support someone by listening fully to their experience.
“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. ”
Need more support?
Group Webinars and Individual Guidance sessions are available to help you apply the Supportive Element in your particular situation.