The Selfless Giving Element
The Selfless Giving Element is about serving others with no hidden agenda.
The goal of this Element is to give open heartedly, without expectation of return.
To practice this Element we can give our time and resources to others without any expectation of thanks, reciprocation or rewards.
Want to apply this Element in your life?
Download our free workbook and start practicing the Selfless Giving Element today or click on the headings below to discover more.
“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve”
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1 - During my twenties I spent a lot of my spare time helping my uncle renovate an old truck that he had. We beat panels, sanded, spray-painted and polished. I did it for the joy of helping and because I could. This Selfless Giving practice with my uncle continued on into my fifties. I am so grateful that I can now think about my deceased uncle with no regrets, knowing that I was there for him whenever he needed me.
2 - My mum organised a hamper to be sent to my son so that he would have something to give me on Father’s Day. I wouldn’t have known that she had done this unless my son told me.
3 - I ring my mum every day and we do a crossword together and have a chat.
4 - When I was at university I would go home to visit my mum without expecting anything. She would wash my clothes and I would often find a hand-written card and a $20 or $50 note folded into my clean laundry. My mum was not at all wealthy but still selflessly gave to help me pay for books and uni materials.
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Selfless giving has many health benefits:
Promotes physiological changes in the brain linked with longevity and happiness
Improves our self-esteem
Improves happiness
Research indicates that if the motive for giving is for personal or spiritual development or better health, we can expect disappointment. Only those coming from Real Love, with no desire for themselves, experience the benefits outlined above. Your heart has to be in the right place to truly practice the Selfless Giving Element.
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Selfless giving can radically improve our relationships:
Improve our support networks and encourage us to be more active.
Create a sense of belonging
Reduce loneliness
Reduce isolation
Encourage people who have received selfless giving to selflessly give to others contributing to a more positive community.
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The examples below follow a simple concept ‘see a need, fill a need’ as taught to me by Rishi Hridayanand at Mangrove Ashram. Some examples are:
Render first aid to someone who is injured
Care for the environment by picking up rubbish or starting a small veggie patch
Offer emotional support to someone in need
Feed a hungry person
Do some gardening for your neighbours or apartment block
Help out at your local school
Walk a neighbour’s dog if they are unable to do this
Take a meal around to someone who has given birth recently
Support people with disability
Volunteer to be a Surf Life Saver, Rural Fire or Emergency Services
Donate to a favourite charity
Offer your time and special skills. e.g. leadership, mentoring or coaching
Volunteer for a cause you believe in e.g. End Child Prostitution & Trafficking
Donate clothes and toys to others where they will be loved
Take a less popular shift at work, to help out a co-worker with children
Offer the larger slice of cake to someone else
Spend quality time with an elderly person
Help a less tech savvy person to overcome anxiety around using devices
To get started, all you have to do is start looking around you, e.g. at people in your family, friends, work colleagues, people in the community etc.
Next, build empathy for the person and their situation. You may not know immediately what the other person might need or want. A simple conversation may help you find out what to do.
"Change the world by changing yourself. Heal the world by healing yourself. Find a need and fulfill it. Service is the greatest form of spiritual practice. Everybody can be great because everybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve, you don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
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Please note, deep practice of the Selfless Giving Element does not imply that we over-give until we are depleted and worn thin ourselves. We can’t give from an empty cup.
Provided you can give joyously and openheartedly, go ahead. It’s important to tune into your own inner guidance around whether this is the right time, person or place to practice Selfless Giving with. When you feel an internal resistance it’s important to honour that now is not the time.
When practicing all the Elements, use the Framework of Ecology: Is it safe to me? Is it safe to others? Is it safe in the context, situation or environment that I find myself in?
If I am already energy-depleted or have a pattern of over-giving to bolster my own self-esteem, it may not be physically or emotionally safe for me to practice the Selfless Giving Element on others right now. It may be more important for me to practice receiving Selfless Giving from others without a need to reciprocate.
There can be numerous reasons why we may struggle with being on the receiving end of Selfless Giving, this includes feelings of:
Not being used to being on the receiving end
Not feeling you’ve done anything special to deserve being gifted
Believing someone else deserves it more than you
Thinking you were just being you, doing what you normally do
Thinking there is no need, or its unnecessary to be given to
The spotlight is suddenly on you
Feeling embarrassed by the kind act of being given to
Please be aware that it is important to receive with an open heart, particularly if you are the type of person that is usually being the selfless giver. You can practice accepting with gratitude and grace and opening to the energy or state of receiving, rather than the thing that is being given.
This is a way to honour and salute that someone has reached out to you in this special way, that they have thought of you and your situation. Understand that they genuinely want to help improve your life in some way.
Notice any desire in yourself to reciprocate and ‘even things out’. Allow yourself to freely receive. True receiving, like Selfless Giving, is not transactional.
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On this day I serve others with a loving heart
On this day I give with no conditions or expectation of anything in return
On this day I embrace a spirit of generosity
On this day I see others as just as important as me, like me they need help too
On this day I apply my special gifts and talents in service of others
On this day I look for opportunities to be the Good Samaritan
On this day I anticipate others needs or ask what they need and find creative ways to help
“Service is a natural expression of love. It expands the heart and widens the vision. The more energy you spend serving others, the more divine energy will flow into you.”
Need more support?
Group Webinars and Individual Guidance sessions are available to help you apply the Selfless Giving Element in your particular situation.