The Patient Element

The Patient Element deals with the ability to let things (and people) happen in their own time without becoming tired of waiting, or doing what is someone else's responsibility.

The goal of the Patient Element is to become accustomed to listening for space and serenity in our lives and letting this energy flow into how we interact with others. 

To cultivate this Element we can practice being gracious, allow others to take the time they need, and slow ourselves down to avoid reacting on impulse.

Want to apply this Element in your life?

Download our free workbook and start practicing the Patient Element today or click on the headings below to discover more.

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“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

— Lao Tzu

• Examples of the Patient Element in action

  1. As a person practices the Patient Element, they may cultivate the ability to take a long view of time, from a perspective larger than their own. This can also result in a resolve or determination that remains over a longer period of time. For example, in the sustainability activism world many people are recognising they may never see the results of their work, but future generations will, just as the work they are doing builds on that of those who have gone before them. 

  2. A person wishing to practice the Patient Element may also choose to cultivate an awareness that failure is an inherent part of learning, knowing that it is our obstacles that lift us to higher ground. I have a bearded, South American friend who is an incredibly inventive engineer. When things break or inventions don’t work first time he gets very excited because to him it’s an opportunity to play and tinker and learn. He literally relishes the appearance of obstacles - something that most of us find very hard.

  3. A friend’s dad, who is a priest, recently gave himself a paper cut while rummaging around in his car glovebox. She noticed him stop, sit back in his seat, take a couple of full breaths and then continue to search in the glovebox at a much slower pace. When she asked him about it, he said that he had trained himself to see those kind of little accidents as signs that he was feeling impatient, rushing and needed to slow down, and that he now (almost) always stops to take a breath and calm his body when something like that happens, avoiding a bigger accident down the line.

• Health benefits of practicing the Patient Element

  The research of Sarah A. Schnitker and Robert A. Emmons has found strong links between patience and both physical and mental health. People exhibiting more patience were less likely to experience:

  • headaches

  • acne breakouts

  • ulcers

  • diarrhoea

  • pneumonia

  • depression

  • negative emotions

    In terms of mental health, these people also experienced more:

  • hopeful

  • mindful

  • grateful

  • satisfied with their lives

• Relationship benefits of practicing the Patient Element

  The ability to stick with a task over time is a great predictor of success and accomplishment in any field, e.g. business, sport, creative pursuits.

  Practicing the Patient Element can also yield the following relationship benefits:

  • Become more attuned to others

  • Be a more available parent

  • Be an empathetic partner

  • Be a compassionate friend

  • Be a more courteous driver 

  • Become aware of your feelings and triggers

  • More easily regulate your emotions           

  • Minimise disruptions and meltdowns

  • Remain calm and grounded under stress

  • Learn from mistakes

  • Let go more often

  • Peel away layer after layer of your ego

• Practicing the Patient Element

  Relationship Rescue Breaths

  If it feels impossible to act with patience, this could be because your system is in a flight, flight or freeze response. Luckily this physiological response to a perceived threat can be turned off with a few intentional breaths.

  • Inhale through your nose counting one thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thousand. If you can, hold your breath for one thousand. 

  • Exhale very slowly through the nose or mouth. If using the mouth purse the lips as though cooling a hot drink. Count down from ten thousand to one thousand. It is important to slowly release portions of breath exhaled. 

  • Repeat this practice three times. Over time, doing this breathing just once can have a great effect.

• Applying the Patient Element to yourself

  You deserve to be treated with patience as much as anyone else. To create an atmosphere where the Patient Element can flow inside your own mind and in your own experience, it is important to live in the moment.

  Experiment with putting away such as watches and phones, which can pull you into an over-awareness of time and tasks to be done. For example you could try going without your watch for a weekend or not looking at your phone for the first or last couple of hours of the day.

  This will likely help your mind become calmer because it is being less stimulated. The end feeling is true peace.

• Affirmations for the Patient Element

  An affirmation can help focus our conscious mind on our intention to do something, until this type of action becomes natural.

  Try this affirmation to help you practice the Patient Element, or make up some of your own.

  “On this day when I struggle or think I can’t do something, I add ‘yet’ at the end of the sentence.“

  Send us the affirmations that have worked for you and we’ll share them with our community. We’d love to hear them!

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, ”

— Reinhold Niebuhr

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Need more support?

Group Webinars and Individual Guidance sessions are available to help you apply the Patient Element in your particular situation.

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