The Considerate Element
The Considerate Element is about openness and receptivity to the needs, experience and point of view of others and ourselves.
The goal of this Element is to value the needs of all beings (including ourselves) consciously taking these needs into account when taking action or making decisions.
To practice this Element we can cultivate awareness of our own and others' needs. We can then intentionally prime ourselves each day to look for opportunities to meet them.
Want to apply this Element in your life?
Download our free workbook and start practicing the Considerate Element today or click on the headings below to discover more.
“A moment of consideration often prevents a thousand apologies”
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Knowing it’s important to walk the talk, I wanted to find ways to show the Considerate Element to my son. As I drove my son to and from school there was one particular road where cars were often waiting at the mercy of other drivers to turn across the flow of traffic or be let in from side streets. Whenever it was safe to do so, I would signal for cars to turn or be let out. My son was quick to recognise I was practising the Considerate Element. Sometimes drivers acknowledged or waved to say thanks. Other times there would be no acknowledgment. I explained the importance of not expecting acknowledgements or thanks, as this has the potential to lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment if the good deed went unnoticed. I explained that the Considerate Element needs no thanks, as this takes away from the gracious act given.
My brother worked as a manager in a factory. It was coming up to Christmas and the General Manager received a luxury Fortnum & Mason hamper from a client. The hamper quickly went straight into the GM’s car.
Later, my brother received a modest hamper. He was considerate of the 300 staff who worked in the factory, and took the hamper to reception.
Each item was available to be won in a raffle by the staff. This heartfelt demonstration of consideration for the people toiling away in the factory made a big difference to their morale.
A friend’s daughter was very sensitive to noise. Being a considerate mother, rather than attending noisy malls, she found calmer places to shop.
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At this time, less scientific study has been carried out on consideration than on many of the other Elements. However, the following health benefits have been demonstrated via clinical studies:
Perhaps counterintuitively, showing consideration to others mitigates the effects of your own stressful day
Showing consideration to others boosts your immune system
What’s more, practicing the Considerate Element on ourselves and others is a powerful antidote to the mechanistic culture that we live in.
This often overrides many of our human needs, for example for sleep, rest, connection and autonomy. Consistently ignoring these needs is the root of many chronic diseases.
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Humans are wired to like and trust people who show consideration. Practicing the Considerate Element can have the following benefits to your relationships:
Helps you excel socially or in business
Increases self-esteem in those you interact with
Increases learning outcomes when teachers are polite to students
Improves levels of trust and collaboration between members of a community
Increases your social capital, building trust with others
Aids in negotiation and conflict resolution
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When thinking of how to apply these examples it is useful to have in mind that the Considerate Element is about being aware of and having empathy for others’ needs. Like all the Elements, it begins with awareness and positive, heartfelt intent. Some simple ways to begin applying the Considerate Element are:
Being good mannered. Remembering our pleases and thank yous. Taking time to say good morning to others
Planning household tasks so the labour is shared equitably
Giving credit where it is due and acknowledging others’ contribution
Asking how friends are and remembering details about their lives
Wherever possible, actively involving others in joint decision making, taking their feelings and needs into account
Offering help, if you see someone who is struggling
Opening or holding a door open for others
Offering up a seat for someone in need
Offering warm socks or a blanket if you notice a guest is cold
Keeping noise down in a quiet environment
Making time to really listen to others, without interrupting or getting distracted
Finding opportunities to collaborate with others, versus what you think is best
Keeping your word: your integrity shines, while the other person feels valued
Being on time: it shows you are considerate of other people’s time
Going beyond others’ expectations. Aiming to delight them by unexpectedly meeting a need
Treating each person as a highly unique and special being
Looking for win-win solutions to problems
Take the time to find common ground - it can be like finding treasure
Withholding unsolicited advice or uninvited criticism
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The Considerate Element invites us to see ourselves as humans, being human. We are not mechanistic beings that can keep going indefinitely, always be productive and conform to cultural expectations. We have our own individual and ever changing needs.
To apply the Considerate Element to yourself, practice regularly tuning into your needs.
To do this you may like to initially sit or lie quietly and tune in to each area by asking yourself, ‘What do I need emotionally right now? What do I need physically, mentally and spiritually?’
As you become more practiced you will be able to do this in busier times and more challenging situations.
Practice brainstorming creative solutions to meet these needs in a different way to how you would habitually do so. This will help you to avoid only having a limited number of strategies to meet your needs.
You may even like to try doing the complete opposite of what you would normally do to see what will happen. Sometimes the results can be amazingly refreshing.
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Setting daily intentions around the Considerate Element primes you to notice opportunities to practice the Element that day:
On this day I actively look for opportunities to show consideration
On this day I look for win-win solutions that balance my own and others’ needs
On this day I will show all beings consideration and respect
On this day I factor in my own needs for rest, food, connection and fun
On this day I look for little ways that I can delight people
On this day I tune into my own needs and check in with my own capacity before saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to requests
On this day I find an opportunity to pick up a piece of litter that would impact wildlife
On this day I choose to consider others’ thoughts and feelings before sharing mine
On this day I anticipate my own and others’ needs.
On this day I am considerate of others’ needs
On this day I am considerate of my own needs
“A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference”
Need more support?
Group Webinars and Individual Guidance sessions are available to help you apply the Considerate Element in your particular situation.