The Caring Element
The Caring Element is about identifying our own or another's needs; holding those needs with an empathetic heart and, where appropriate, taking action to meet them however we can.
The goal of practicing this Element is to care deeply about our own and others’ needs.
In order to embody this Element we can begin by considering whether we have a good balance between self-care and care of others.
Want to apply this Element in your life?
Download our free workbook and start practicing the Caring Element today or click on the headings below to discover more.
“Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get”
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A woman spends a few hours each weekend tending the nature strip in front of her house. She loves seeing the plants and soil healthy and thriving and enjoys the pleasure on people’s faces as they walk past the colourful display of flowers and native grasses.
A pensioner is deeply moved by a TV show he watches about homeless youth and begins spending one evening a month volunteering at local soup kitchen.
A charity representative going into a refugee camp takes time to ask residents what their needs are and connect with their suffering. She then directs funds and resources based on this insight and the empathy she has gained.
Notice that in each of these examples the person practicing the Caring Element has an emotional connection to the other people (or beings) they are caring for. Imagine if the woman in example 1’s motivation had been to have a more impressive garden than her neighbours. Although her outward actions might have been similar, this act would not meet the Caring Element criteria.
Our intention to meet a need and our experience of empathy are vitally important in evoking the Caring Element. It’s not just the outward action that counts.
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Simple daily acts of self-care really count. Self-care can help you:
manage stress
lower your risk of illness
increase your energy.
Through loving self-care, we can stimulate our body to release endorphins, a natural feel-good chemical, which will boost our mood and energy.
Research has also shown that caring for others, where the care is voluntary and can be seen to be effective, also has many benefits to the person doing the caring, including:
reduced stress
increased happiness
less depression
increased sense of social connectedness
higher life-satisfaction
In caring relationship with others, the hormone oxytocin is released. This is another one of the body's natural feel-good chemicals. This explains part of the reason why caring feels so good.
There are also noted physiological benefits for those who receive caring social support; they are more protected from disease and even death.
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Our hearts have untapped depths of caring. The more we care for ourselves and others, the more we also receive. We become happier, stronger, and more content.
The Caring Element will help you find and nurture qualities in you, and others around you, deepen them, and make them whole.
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“Caring is caught, not taught” - Charles A Smith.
If we did not receive sufficient care as children, practising self-care is even more essential for wellbeing. Surrounding ourselves with people and environments where we regularly receive care will be vital in our growing ability to care for others.
However, if we have the capacity to care, and practice the Caring Element, we can also share love with others through our caring.
We can choose to work on three levels. It’s important to apply the first two points before moving to the third:
Awareness (by looking out for needs and opportunities to meet them);
Empathy (by imagining the feelings and needs of another, and using this insight to help us to consider a range of potential solutions and hone into the pros and cons of each option);
Loving action (tangible action on our part to meet these needs).
All three are essential to true caring. How our caring is received depends on our state of heart and mind as we act. Action alone, even if well intended, may not be experienced by the recipient as caring, if empathy is not present. It is empathy that conjures loving action to flow.
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It is important not to confuse self-care with selfishness. They are extremely different.
Self-care is like putting on our own oxygen mask to keep ourselves well. When we are safe ourselves, we then look to help others with their mask. Selfishness is only seeking to look after our own needs, regardless of any negative impact on others.
“Truly caring people know they have to take care of themselves first.” - Marty Rubin
This starts by ensuring you have sufficient rest and lead a healthy joyful lifestyle. As you practise self-care, your happiness and quality of life will increase.
Here are some simple acts of self-care that can make all the difference to how you feel and how you relate to others:
Taking a short walk surrounded by nature
Eating a favourite or healthy meal
Reading a favourite book or magazine or journalling
Buying fresh bedding or pillows
Attending a yoga class (in person or online)
Walking barefoot on grass
Catching up with friends for a meal or movie
Taking time to tidy or renovate your room
Gardening - even a small pot plant in the kitchen can awaken our caring nature
Listening to your favourite music
Having a lay down and listening to a 20-minute Yoga Nidra (rest and relaxation)
Having a massage
Booking a physical or mental healthcare appointment.
Tapping into your caring instinct can leverage a new beginning and sense of self based on love, connection, and care.
“From caring comes courage.” - Lao Tzu
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On this day I practise one act of self-care.
On this day I build awareness by paying attention to my differing needs.
On this day I see myself as the captain, who needs caring too.
On this day I practise empathy for my needs and write about it.
On this day I consciously apply a caring act for each of my children.
On this day I practise awareness of my co-workers’ unmet needs.
On this day I practise empathy for one of my family’s needs and write about it.
On this day I show caring to a friend or colleague.
On this day I look for an opportunity to show caring to a random stranger in need.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty
or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back
to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”
Need more support?
Group Webinars and Individual Guidance sessions are available to help you apply the Caring Element in your particular situation.